I did not think I would have time to do this now but here is the whole transcript of Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card at the end of The Big Bang Theory on CBS. (Hopefully all that avoids copyright infringement)
CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, TIVO
Back when I was writing and producing Dharma and Greg the only way to read my cards was to record each episode on a VCR and hit the pause button. This was not an easy task. The image wobbled like crazy making the tiny words of my weekly tomes very hard to see. Then it hit me. What about building a device that records video images digitally? Wouldnt this allow for a much more precise pause function? I took my little notion to an impoverished computer wiz by the name of Schlomo Tivowitz. At the time of our meeting Schlomo was feverishly trying to invent an improved version of the George Forman Grill. Schlomos grill would contain a hard drive that remembered all the details of your last barbecue, as well as an address book. I didnt really see the point of it, but, not being a tech guy, I held my tongue and presented him with my idea. I will never forget his reaction. With hamburger-flecked spittle flying from his blueberry lips, he laughed, called me some very unkind names and demanded that I leave his mothers basement immediately. My hopes dashed, I went back to work on Dharma and Greg and forgot about my silly idea. Well, Im sure you can figure out what happened next. The fact that youre reading this card right now should tell you. Thankfully, its not in my nature to be bitter. But there are times when I feel a little used usually when I have forgotten how to effectively grill a fatty piece of chicken.