If the host is grayed out, it's a network/software/service issue. I have a VOX and three hosts, of which only 1 is TE4. The TE3 hosts are not grayed out. A powered off Roamio & two-tuner Premiere are grayed out.
Your first post is confusing. A Mini should match its host or tell you to change the host or the Mini. What software is the host using? What software is the Mini using? BTW, you don't control the Mini software directly.
Your problem is not related to the software running on the boxes. There is an account issue which maybe solved by making multiple service connections on both the Bolt and Mini. Video Sharing is not an issue for your problem. The two units need to know they are "related". I have a 2-tuner Premiere on my network which shows as a TiVo, grayed out with a circle that you saw. That's because that TiVo does not support any Mini. You might perform a C&DE on the Mini. It doesn't hurt the host.
You may have to call TiVo - sorry.
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