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Best Lines From TV

3049 Views 45 Replies 42 Participants Last post by  Chibbie
"As God is my witness. I thought turkeys could fly"
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"Then take your best shot, Locutus, 'cause we are about to 'intervene'."
I'll be in my bunk.
Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or f**king beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.
"I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it"
Just a bit long, but:

You're a son-of-a-*****, you know that? She bought her first new car and you hit her with a drunk driver. What, that supposed to be funny? "You can't conceive, or nor can I, the appalling strangeness of the mercy of God" says Graham Greene. I know who's ass he was kissing there cause I think you're just vindictive. What was Josh Lyman? A warning shot? That was my son. What did I ever do to yours except praise his glory and praise his name? There's a tropical storm that gaining speed…. power. They say we haven't had a storm this bad since you took out the Tender ship of mine last year in the north Atlantic last year… sixty-eight crew. Do you know what a Tender ship does? Fixes the other ships. Doesn't even carry guns. Floats around and fixes the other ships and delivers that mail. That's all it CAN do. (angry)

Gratias tibi ago, domine. Yes, I lied. It was a sin. (holds out arms) I've committed many sins. Have I displeased you, you feckless thug? 3.8 million new jobs. That wasn't good? Bail out Mexico…increase foreign trade…Thirty million new acres for conservation…put Mendoza on the bench…without fighting a war. I've raised three children… That's not enough to buy me out of the doghouse?

Haec credam a deo pio? A deo iusto? A deo scito? Cruciatus in crucem! Tuus in terra servus nuntius fui officium perfeci. Cruciatus in crucem. Eas in crucem!

You get Hoynes!
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"Luck is the residue of good planning." - Frank Barone
I love it when a plan comes together.
How the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks do you go from Jed Bartlett to Hanibal what's-his-name in two posts? Argh - sometimes TCF rattles my cage! (Not a quote, by the way, just an observation :)).
"Yippee Kaya Mother accompanier"
My favorite line said ON television was from a post game press conference. In their first season in the league, The Tampa Bay Buc's went 0-14 (and played even worse than that, if possible). After the last game of the season one of the questions Head Coach John McKay was asked was:

"What do you think about your offense's execution?"

His reply:

"I'm all for it!!!"

As for scripted tv, for my money you can watch any episode of "The West Wing" and take your pick.
Honeymooners, Ralph and Norton handcuffed together on the wrong train, Ralph ticked off at Norton.

Norton: 'Hey Ralph, mind if I smoke?'

Ralph: 'I don't care if you burn'
What does a yellow light mean?
Slow down.
Whaaaaaat does a yelllllloooooow liiiiiiight meeeeaaaaaan?
SLOW DOWN!
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat doooooooes a yelllllllooooooooooooooooooooo .....

And a +1 for the WKRP quote :D
David Platt said:
Just a bit long, but:

You're a son-of-a-*****, you know that? She bought her first new car and you hit her with a drunk driver. What, that supposed to be funny? "You can't conceive, or nor can I, the appalling strangeness of the mercy of God" says Graham Greene. I know who's ass he was kissing there cause I think you're just vindictive. What was Josh Lyman? A warning shot? That was my son. What did I ever do to yours except praise his glory and praise his name? There's a tropical storm that gaining speed…. power. They say we haven't had a storm this bad since you took out the Tender ship of mine last year in the north Atlantic last year… sixty-eight crew. Do you know what a Tender ship does? Fixes the other ships. Doesn't even carry guns. Floats around and fixes the other ships and delivers that mail. That's all it CAN do. (angry)

Gratias tibi ago, domine. Yes, I lied. It was a sin. (holds out arms) I've committed many sins. Have I displeased you, you feckless thug? 3.8 million new jobs. That wasn't good? Bail out Mexico…increase foreign trade…Thirty million new acres for conservation…put Mendoza on the bench…without fighting a war. I've raised three children… That's not enough to buy me out of the doghouse?

Haec credam a deo pio? A deo iusto? A deo scito? Cruciatus in crucem! Tuus in terra servus nuntius fui officium perfeci. Cruciatus in crucem. Eas in crucem!

You get Hoynes!
Definitely one of my favorite scenes!
"We're fighting giant bugs on Pluto, man. We're all insane!"
scoot95 said:
"I'm Out" - Kramer
"Giddy Up" - Kramer

that and "Go" when he answers the phone, I do that sometimes and it throws people off :D
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