The bar has not been open for long and Grey has been preocupied with that and other issues, so I don't find it unlikely at all that this is the first time Ansel has seen this. Ansel does not live with him, he was just staying over because Dex was gone overnight. And it threatens the stability of his world. The 180 change in her demeanor has been a little weird. She started as a real ballbuster, and then changed to being a marshmallow.