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Old 04-04-2014, 05:16 PM   #1
Agatha Mystery
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What's your favorite lines from tv shows?

I've got a few. I just saw a rerun of one of my favorites.

From Criminal Minds, Prentiss is taking about her cat, Sergio, whom she passed off as her new boyfriend, when talking to her therapist. She says to Hotch, "He is the perfect man. He doesn't hog the covers, and he poops in a box."

There are too many from Firefly for me to just them all.

So what are your favorite lines?
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Old 04-04-2014, 05:32 PM   #2
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A ton from Seinfeld. "No soup for you!"..."I was in the pool!"..."I am master of my domain".

Many other shows and many other lines but not enough space to list them all.


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Old 04-04-2014, 05:40 PM   #3
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Insert many Seinfeld and Friends lines here

And a lot of Simpsons ones as well!
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Old 04-04-2014, 06:06 PM   #4
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"Oh my God! They killed Kenny! ...You bastards!"
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Old 04-04-2014, 06:17 PM   #5
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Al Bundy said it.
Quote:
Women, you can't live with them. The end.

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Old 04-04-2014, 06:23 PM   #6
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My favorite line from TV this season was from "Bob's Burgers":

"I think slumber parties are the cat's pajamas. Especially when I'm wearing my cat pajamas."
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Old 04-04-2014, 06:27 PM   #7
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"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

Elaine Benes
Seinfeld - from the 'Hamptons' episode

I probably have a ton of them from Seinfeld.
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Old 04-04-2014, 06:31 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sharkster View Post
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

Elaine Benes
Seinfeld - from the 'Hamptons' episode

I probably have a ton of them from Seinfeld.
The whole conversation is priceless:

Quote:
Jerry: Do women know about shrinkage?

Elaine: What do you mean like laundry?

Jerry: No, like when a man goes swimming afterwards.

Elaine: It shrinks?

Jerry: Like a frightened turtle!

Elaine: Why does it shrink?

George Costanza: It just does.

Elaine: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

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Old 04-04-2014, 06:38 PM   #9
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That whole 'Hamptons' episode was classic. There were so many funny bits.

That one, along with 'The Contest' are my two favorite Seinfeld episodes.
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Old 04-04-2014, 06:43 PM   #10
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I'm Out

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Old 04-04-2014, 06:58 PM   #11
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From Alf:

(After electrocuting himself with a hair dryer in the bathtub, Alf thought he was insurance salesman Wayne Schlagel from Michigan Life and Casualty. He thought Willie had taken his clothes.)

Quote:
"You're not my buddy. But you could've been...if you hadn't taken my pants."

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Old 04-04-2014, 07:05 PM   #12
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My wife and I quote lines from Friends all the time. It helps that we've probably seen every episode at least 5 times.
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Old 04-04-2014, 07:24 PM   #13
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I'll add a more serious one, from Star Trek TNG: The Wounded:

"When one has been angry for a very long time, one gets used to it. And it becomes comfortable, like... like old leather. And finally... becomes so familiar that one can't ever remember feeling any other way."
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Old 04-04-2014, 08:44 PM   #14
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From Firefly:


Bandit #1: "And I think maybe you're gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the missus."

(Husband) Jayne: "Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature."

(Wife) Mal: "How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?"

(Husband) Jayne: "If I could make you purtier, I would."

(Wife) Mal: "You are not the man I met a year ago." (they suddenly draw their guns on the bandits, Mal slowly pulling his bonnet off)

Mal: "Now think real hard. You been bird-dogging this township a while now. They wouldn't mind a corpse of you. Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet: I will end you."

From Justified

(Duffy laying flat)

Raylan drops the bullet on Duffy and says, “The next one’s comin’ faster”
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Old 04-04-2014, 09:20 PM   #15
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There's this whole exchange on the West Wing between some intern, Ainsley Hayes, and Sam Seabourne about how Sam objectifies women that just cracks me up every time.
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Old 04-04-2014, 09:22 PM   #16
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King of Queens " Son of a Mother!" I always say it.
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Old 04-04-2014, 09:27 PM   #17
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Old 04-04-2014, 10:51 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NashvilleKat View Post
Al Bundy said it.
How about "Women, you can't live with them ... pass the peanuts" -- Norm.
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Old 04-04-2014, 10:54 PM   #19
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My all time favorite is "As God is my witness ... I thought turkeys could fly", followed closely by "What's up, Norm? -- My nipples -- it's freezing out there."
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Old 04-04-2014, 11:03 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wprager View Post
My all time favorite is "As God is my witness ... I thought turkeys could fly", followed closely by "What's up, Norm? -- My nipples -- it's freezing out there."
LMAO The turkey episode was awesome lol
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Old 04-05-2014, 12:58 AM   #21
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Quote:
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King of Queens " Son of a Mother!" I always say it.
We have a ton from King of Queens as well- such as "you just love your Lou Ferrigno, don't you????"
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Old 04-05-2014, 01:05 AM   #22
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I love the end of Raylan Givens' facedown of Wynn Duffy in the episode "Full Commitment" of JUSTIFIED:

Spoiler:
The next time we have a conversation, there won't be a conversation.
... which is followed up in a subsequent episode "The Gunfighter," when another Deputy Marshal drags a reluctant Givens to interrogate Duffy. Givens says he doesn't to go because the last time he talked to Duffy, he told him about the no conversation next time. The other Marshal says Duffy won't remember the remark and anyway, if he does, just say it's a different conversation.

So when they find Duffy, the first thing Duffy says to Givens is, "I recall the last time we spoke, you said 'the next time we have a conversation, there won't be a conversation."

Givens looks relatively nonplussed and then says "This is a different conversation."

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Old 04-05-2014, 05:10 AM   #23
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Old 04-05-2014, 07:04 AM   #24
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You're right about too many from Firefly but nevertheless I have to go with "My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."
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Old 04-05-2014, 07:39 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trainman View Post
My favorite line from TV this season was from "Bob's Burgers":

"I think slumber parties are the cat's pajamas. Especially when I'm wearing my cat pajamas."
SO MANY Bob's Burgers quotes!

“It’s not a lie if you tell it to vegetarians. You taught us that!”
“I did teach you that.”
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Old 04-05-2014, 07:42 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by gweempose View Post
My wife and I quote lines from Friends all the time. It helps that we've probably seen every episode at least 5 times.
haha yeah same here! but change 5 to like 50

some of our fav's

JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!
PIZZA, we like PIZZA, dammit Carl!
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Old 04-05-2014, 07:57 AM   #27
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Old 04-05-2014, 02:08 PM   #28
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Lots of M*A*S*H quotes come to mind, here's one:

"I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!"
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Old 04-05-2014, 02:15 PM   #29
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Here's the full "Live Turkey Broadcast":

Quote:
Les: The... the crowd is uh... curious but well behaved. And I think I hear something now. Uh... The crowd is moving out into the parking area. And... oh yes! I can see it now. It's a... it's a... helicopter and it's coming this way!
Andy: A helicopter?
Les: It's flying something behind it and I can't quite make it out. It's a large banner and it says H A P P Y... T H A N K S... giving... from W... K... R... P! What a sight, ladies and gentlemen. What a sight. The 'copter seems to circling the parking area now. I guess it's looking for a place to land. No! Something just came out of the back of a helicopter. It's a dark object, perhaps a skydiver plummeting to the earth from only two thousand feet in the air... There's a third... No parachutes yet... Those can't be skydivers. I can't tell just yet what they are but... Oh my God! They're turkeys! Oh no! Johnny can you get this? Oh, they're crashing to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! This is terrible! Everyone's running around pushing each other. Oh my goodness! Oh, the humanity! People are running about. The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! Folks, I don't know how much longer... The crowd is running for their lives. I think I'm going to step inside. I can't stand here and watch this anymore. No, I can't go in there. Children are searching for their mothers and oh, not since the Hindenberg tragedy has there been anything like this. I don't know how much longer I can hold my position here, Johnny. The crowd...
OMG I miss that show. Will they ever get it on Netflix?
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Old 04-05-2014, 03:16 PM   #30
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Ha! The WKRP turkey thing is classic.

I agree that M*A*S*H and Friends both had a million great quotes. Both are big favorites of mine. I've seen every M*A*S*H episode so many times I just couldn't watch anymore.

I've seen every Friends episode at least a dozen times so far. Such great characters and it never felt like they got anywhere near any jumping of the shark.
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