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Wife won't delete recordings

Discussion in 'TiVo Coffee House - TiVo Discussion' started by timckelley, Jun 3, 2003.

  1. Aug 28, 2006 #361 of 1216
    timckelley

    timckelley TCFer

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    Oct 15, 2002
    Austin, TX
    When I quoted this to her, she laughed and said you're probably right. Other times, when her mother brings up the subject, she protests by saying it's her hobby, and that everybody has hobbies, and this is hers.
     
  2. Aug 28, 2006 #362 of 1216
    timckelley

    timckelley TCFer

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    Oct 15, 2002
    Austin, TX
    Oh, I have an update and a question for you people. The other day when I said I was going to order my hard drive that afternoon: My wife and I got into discussions about whether it was better to upgrade or get a third TiVo. She started pitching the idea for a 3rd TiVo because she wants to do her archiving stuff upstairs in a room that my son doesn't play in, but when she's downstairs, she wants to be able to watch General Hospital.

    At first I thought I could get a cheap lifetime used TiVo off of ebay, because I saw some auctions with low bids and reputable sellers. But then the bid shot way up in the last day, and then when I searched completed auctions, I see it's really hard to get a lifetime for under $300 unless it's a series 1 with very little space.

    So after more talking we agreed to the original plan of simply upgrading her current TiVo. I can still accomplish what she wants though because I have some AVcast equipment that I used to have installed, which is currently uninstalled. This equipment lets you watch a TiVo from a different TV than the one it's hooked up to. I used to use this equipment when my TiVo was unsubscribed because I wanted to be able to see my wife's guide data from my TV. Anyway, I can hook this equipment up again, which will allow her to watch her TiVo from downstairs, so this is really the best solution.

    So now my next question is which hard drive to buy. Two of you above have posted links for me for suggested hard drives.

    One link is:

    http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.asp?Item=N82E16822144392

    Another link is:

    http://shop1.outpost.com/search?que...950&pType=pDisplay&from=0&to=24&order_by=p04d

    I see the cheapest is the Seaqate 300MB one. Should I be wary of certain brand names? Is there a reason why I should pick a different one that the cheapest above? Seagate is compatible with TiVo, right? BTW, even though the Western Digital says 320 MB, the comments from the consumers say that when formatted, it's just under 300 MB.
     
  3. Aug 28, 2006 #363 of 1216
    classicX

    classicX Don't scream.

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    :eek:

    +1 for cutting off her TV completely. She needs a new "hobby."
     
  4. Aug 28, 2006 #364 of 1216
    timckelley

    timckelley TCFer

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    In her defense, she watches it while she's folding the laundry.
     
  5. Aug 28, 2006 #365 of 1216
    RangersRBack

    RangersRBack New Member

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    Holy Mother of God!

    I somehow just read this thread for the first time. Three years of the same posts over and over again...what kind of life do you have? And what kind of marriage?

    She spends all of her free time recording and hoarding shows, and maybe even spends a little time watching them too. You spend all of your free time doing housework and negotiating time when you can feed her habit.

    ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

    Do you two have any kind of relationship whatsoever that doesn't involve Tivo? Do you ever do anything together with your child? Ever go to the park? Do you ever do anything together that involves just the two of you? No surprise that you only have one child, she can't get pregnant through the remote.

    For the posters who suggested he cut his wife off from the recordings, I totally agree. I also submit that we should cut this guy off from his addiction to coming on here and discussing his horrible personal life, and his questions about technology that never address his ultimate problem.

    IMHO he needs to spend less time on here, and instead spend some quality time with his wife. Or some quality time at a lawyer's office getting away from his wife. Or some quality time standing up to his wife, let the tears flow and then take it from there. She may thank you for it later.

    To me this barely sounds like a marriage. Ten years later he'll still be here asking about hard drives and the cost of upgrading, instead of addressing the real issues in his marriage.

    Jeesh.
     
  6. Aug 28, 2006 #366 of 1216
    timckelley

    timckelley TCFer

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    Austin, TX
    You exaggerate the situation. The only TiVO watching I ever do is late at night after my son has gone to sleep. I spend most of my other time that I'm not at work, by playing with my son or doing housework. Most evenings I take my son for bike rides or walks, and at least once per weekend I usually go on hikes with him, and my wife and he and I often go swimming in our backyard swimming pool.

    The problem with my wife is that she schedules a lot more stuff on her TiVo than she really has time to watch, and so it backs up on her.
     
  7. Aug 28, 2006 #367 of 1216
    RangersRBack

    RangersRBack New Member

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    The problem with your wife goes far beyond having her Tivo back up on her. Re-read your posts.

    Your marriage needs help.
     
  8. Aug 28, 2006 #368 of 1216
    timckelley

    timckelley TCFer

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    Austin, TX
    Actually, you're right but not for the reasons you had just posted, which is why I corrected your statment that we have no time for each other or for our son. We are, in fact, getting help. We're participating in marriage counseling currently, and in fact I've just finally arranged respite care for our disabled son once a month, so that we can hopefully finally have time to do things together without necessarily having our son with us all the time.

    I've also been asking her for a long time that we should eat lunch together at least once a week while my son is at school, but she's always too busy for that. Yesterday, she said she intends to make time for this.

    Having said that, yes she still has a problem with being obsessed with her TiVo, but it's more harmless than more expensive hobbies might be, or doing drugs, etc. She does need a hobby and there are worse ones to have. Meanwhile, I'd like to pursue this cheap upgrade to her TiVo as a means of reclaiming my own TiVo back again.

    I recently noticed I had less than one screen of suggestions, and I told my wife, and she made progress and cleared up some stuff, but now I see she's scheduled a bunch of movies on my TiVo, some of which are currently in NP. Also, the new season has started, and my To Do list suddenly has several eps of my shows scheduled.

    I took the action last night, and changed my SPs to KUID to combat with her KUID stuff, and I note that not quite all can be changed to KUID without getting warnings of earlier than desired expiration dates being assigned to my shows. I warned my wife this morning, but we barely had time to talk about it.

    What I plan to do in the meanwhile before the upgrade is complete is to keep careful watch of my To Do List. If one of my eps is projected not to record due to lack of space, I really feel that I should delete one of my wife's movies, or delete one from the To Do List, in order that I get my show record. But in fairness I think I should let her know my plan, and I hope she sees the reasonableness in my logic that if my show is not recorded vs her show not being recorded, my shows should get priority, since it is my TiVo we're talking about. Meanwhile I should get moving on this upgrade so that less of this problem has to surface.
     
  9. Aug 28, 2006 #369 of 1216
    JYoung

    JYoung Series 3

    28,698
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    Jan 16, 2002
    Los Angeles
    Your wife is not respecting your boundries.
    Time to hide your TiVo remote with you when you're not using it.

    And of the drives you listed, I like the Seagate the best.

    I have a Seagate running in my Series 2 with no issue so far.
     
  10. Aug 28, 2006 #370 of 1216
    RangersRBack

    RangersRBack New Member

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    Stop already, just stop.

    Stop with the SP's and the KUID's and hoping she sees the reasonableness of your logic. You're past that now, if it hasn't changed in the last three years it won't change now.

    You're just going to keep going back and forth, and in ten years you'll still be here posting about your latest idea that hopefully won't make her mad, and you'll be up to 35,000 posts (dude you're averaging like 200 a month).

    She needs to walk away from the Tivo, and you need to walk away from this forum. You're both addicted, and your marriage is virtually over because of it.
     
  11. Aug 28, 2006 #371 of 1216
    classicX

    classicX Don't scream.

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    tim, while RangersRBack is being a bit rude and sensationalistic, I tend to agree, but I don't think that your marriage is over. Without getting too deep into your personal life, judging by your posts here, it seems that there are bigger issues than the Tivo.

    You and possibly your wife as well are using the Tivo as an excuse.

    That said, you may not get to the root cause without some drastic measures. I said it jokingly before, but disconnecting the Tivo's is probably a good start. It will likely cause a big argument, but tell her it's because you want to spend more time with her and your son and don't want any excuses. Tell her you love her.

    It will get worse before it gets better, but I think it's worth it, don't you?

    For what it's worth, it's just TV. What will happen to her if she misses some shows? It won't kill her. I used to be the same way, recording show after show and always making time to watch TV, when it should be the other way around - if there is something better to do with your time (rather than watching TV), do it.

    Tell her if she wants to watch General Hospital while folding the laundry, then fold the laundry while General Hospital is ON.

    Be sure to let it be known that you are denying yourself from the Tivo as well. Take the Tivos and put them in a box and store them somewhere, for a good long while. Trust me, it won't be the end of the world. Not even your world.

    But underlying issues will only be exacerbated by smaller "surface" issues. The quicker you get to the real issues, the quicker they can be resolved.

    Tivo may lose a customer but you will gain a life.

    And not just a 1UP mushroom.
     
  12. Aug 28, 2006 #372 of 1216
    sushikitten

    sushikitten 143 down, ??? to go! TCF Club

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    Oh. My. God.

    I just now read through all 13 pages of this thread. I had hoped it was just a controversial thread that garnered a lot of responses....so imagine my surprise when I saw it had been going on for THREE years.

    I am seriously amazed that you can live with this. I know people have to pick their battles, but this would drive me INSANE! It doesn't matter how many boxes you have or how big you upgrade to, this is always going to be a problem. So why even bother??

    Oh, and +1 for your wife going cold turkey. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
     
  13. Aug 28, 2006 #373 of 1216
    timckelley

    timckelley TCFer

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    I don't understand this statement. I'm currently not sacrificing any time with her or my son by watching TiVo. I've said many times in this thread that I only watch it late at night when my wife and son are asleep. My TiVo usage really is not causing any other part of my life to suffer. You could possibly make the argument that having my TiVo in the house is too great a temptation for my wife, but it's not true that I personally am sacrificing other things I should be doing instead.

    Also, I really don't spend a lot of hours a week watching TiVo. I'm far from being controlled by it. But what few hours I spend, I feel it would be nice if I could use technology to make most use of those hours. (e.g. TiVo lets me FF thru commercials.) One of the big selling points of TiVo is that it lets you get higher quality TV viewing done is less time. I really think I use my TiVo the way it's meant to be used, and I'm not addicted to it. My wife may be, but I'm not.

    As far as, is my wife spending less time with me and my son? She doesn't spend less time with my son, because she watches it mainly when he's in school. This is why she's so backlogged right now. His summer vacation (which is 1 1/2 months for him) just ended, and during that time, she didn't have a lot of time to watch TiVo. The fact that she's usually too busy to eat lunch with me, though, could be a sign she spends too much time with her TiVo. You could argue that if she spends less time with TiVo, she could have more time to finish her other house work, and have more time to spend with me at lunch, but that's fairly minor in the scheme of things, timewise, since lunch doesn't last very long. (BTW, every Friday all 3 of us already eat lunch together because my son gets off from school at lunchtime on Fridays.)

    I think she suffers most from her TiVo because she gets backlogged in her housework. I do think she needs a hobby, but she does seem to get obsessed with TiVo.

    But to give up TiVo so I can spend more time with my wife and son? That doesn't make sense. Giving up my TiVO watching would make no difference, since they're asleep anyway.
     
  14. Aug 28, 2006 #374 of 1216
    timckelley

    timckelley TCFer

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    It may be hard to tell by reading the thread at one whack, unless you pay close attention to the date stamps on each post, but really since I bought my TiVo 2 1/2 years ago, it's only in the last month I've had a problem with her hogging my space on it. For over two years I've actually lived in TiVo happiness.

    True, she's infringed on it slightly over the last two years, but only to a very very small percentage of my free space. Now, in the first year (i.e. 3 1/2 years ago) of TiVo ownership, that's another story. At that time, we only had one TiVo, and there were quite a few months of conflict on that TiVo.

    But you might have a false impression that I've spent 3 1/2 years of solid TiVo misery; that's not the case.

    Also, if you think upgrading will not solve problems, it might at least extend it another 2 1/2 years like the last upgrade did. But I'd like to think that if my wife does develop 300 hours of backlog, she'll face reality and accept that that's too much and do something about it. From talking to her about this aspect, she agrees. She thinks an 80 hour (at basic quality - it's much much less than that at High or Best Quality) TiVo is not enough space, but 300 hours is. There actually is a certain amount of logic to that statement.
     
  15. Aug 28, 2006 #375 of 1216
    RangersRBack

    RangersRBack New Member

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    Dude you've been posting about this for three years...THREE YEARS.

    Part of me thinks you're making this all up to show us how dependant we've all become on our tivos. You speak of such an extreme example with thousands of hours of recordings, someone who is so obsessed with Tivo it sounds like she doesn't think of much else, and a marriage that sounds more like two people trying to figure out how to share Tivo, instead of trying to figure out how to share a life.

    Now I don't think this is really the case, but for crying out loud already...THREE YEARS and you're still discussing the same basic issues.

    Go to the movies for once, or a baseball game or something. Or exercise. I love Tivo but I have other interests too.
     
  16. Aug 28, 2006 #376 of 1216
    timckelley

    timckelley TCFer

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    You might notice from my post count that I have posted on many, many other subjects than just TiVo (on the other TCF subforums.) This is a 3 year long thread, but the amount of time I've spent per month posting to this particular thread has been very small. Sometimes months go by without me putting in a single post.

    Also, as for other activies (movies, etc), did you not notice how I said I only watch TiVo late at night after my family is asleep? During the day I have various other activities I participate in.

    However this forum is the Coffee House forum, and in this forum we are only allowed to post about TiVo. Hopefully that explains why I've confined my discussion here to TiVo, and how a 3 year thread could be devoted to that subject.
     
  17. Aug 28, 2006 #377 of 1216
    murgatroyd

    murgatroyd Don't stop believin'

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    May I suggest a separate negotiation for the movies?

    I personally don't see the value in setting up my TiVo to record movies for me unless there is no other way to see the movie. I'd much rather get the DVD, which can be watched without FFing through commercials, comes with extras (I especially enjoy commentary tracks) etc.

    If your budget allows, perhaps she could get some of these movies some other way. If not, perhaps a 'house rule' could be negotiated that summertime when she is likely to be behind in watching her other stuff is not a good time to go out looking for movies to record.

    If you have a TiVo, sooner or later you have to learn that you can't record everything you might like to see and you can't watch everything that gets recorded. You have to be able to let some stuff go.

    I recently had to go on a trip with an open-ended return date. I too have a backlog of shows I need to dump off to VCR. I gutted my SPM, tossing out a lot of SPs for stuff I really didn 't care about, turning off auto-recording for a bunch of ARWLs, etc. so that I could keep the stuff I needed to put at KUID and have space to record the stuff we absolutely wanted to see that would air while we were gone. CBS News Sunday Morning is great, but would we care about watching a two-week-old recording? No, so off the To Do list it went. The manual five-minute recordings we use to change the channel for the morning news -- out! And so on.

    If the movie in question has never been out on DVD and can't be rented or gotten in some other way, that's one thing. But if it is something that's readily availble on another format, why waste valuable TiVo space?

    If you like, point out to her how much movies are edited for TV. Sell her on the better movie-viewing experience she could have if she chooses not to fill up your TiVo with movies.

    Negotiate, but give her a chance to come around so she'll make the decision and she'll be happy with what she chooses to keep or toss.

    P.S. to the rest of you -- give Tim and his wife a break. They have the right, and deserve the chance to work things out to their satisfaction, not ours. If they have a disabled kid, they have stuff to worry about that a lot of the rest of us don't have. So what if they fight a little over the TiVos? It's better than fighting about other stuff.

    Jan
     
  18. Aug 28, 2006 #378 of 1216
    RangersRBack

    RangersRBack New Member

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    Yet three years later you're still posting about the exact same issue...your wife infringing on your tivo space. It's getting old now, literally, and to me 9,000 posts in less than four years is a lot. 200 posts a month on a tivo forum is excessive, regardless of the subject you're posting about...it's still Tivo.

    There is a lot of obsession going on in your house, and maybe it's time to do the unthinkable...get rid of Tivo altogether. Both you and your wife may find it liberating that you're not tied to the machine anymore, and maybe you can move on to more important things...like real life.
     
  19. Aug 28, 2006 #379 of 1216
    timckelley

    timckelley TCFer

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    If you're complaining about 200 posts per month (it's actually less than that btw) you need to complain to quite a few users here besides me. My post count is lower than many. If you're complaining that I let a thread last this long, there is no rule or expiration date set on threads. You have the option of not reading this thread if you're getting bored by it. I have gotten the impression that not everybody is bored from it.

    Also, I don't need liberation from my TiVo, because frankly, I don't spend that much time on it. Percentagewise, the vast majority of my life is not spent on TiVo related activities.

    Lastly, I haven't been posting about the same thing these 3 years. The fact that she's infringed onto a TiVo that has been exclusivly assigned to me is a fairly recent development.
     
  20. Aug 28, 2006 #380 of 1216
    ZeoTiVo

    ZeoTiVo I can't explain

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    but even if you put a 300 gig drive in - she will still at some point be back to your TiVo becasue she has filled up her space again.


    ask yourself why she needs to make so many VCR tapes she never watches? What void is she filling by collecting shows?
     

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