I think there is real conflict within Emily regarding who to pick. Sure, Arie is the one with the pretty outer shell, but Jef is better marriage material. He has more substance in every way than Arie. I think she is wondering how much a role that physical chemistry should play, since ultimately, a) the physical chemistry becomes less important, b) the physical chemistry changes with time and circumstances, c) the intense physical attraction is a good starting point, but she doesn't know how that will translate to actual physical chemistry and compatibility once they progress a little further in their relationship. I think many women and men let the initial attraction (or lack of attraction) be the primary guiding factor in selecting a partner, only to find that other things undermine a long term relationship. The person could turn out to be not very thoughtful, or full of themselves, or lousy in bed, or not very interesting to talk to the other 23-1/2 hours of the day, or gone so much that it's not really like having a spouse. My opinion is that Emily ultimately will pick Jef because she sees past the initial attraction of Arie and sees herself with a guy she can build a whole life with. Arie seems like a really great guy, but he doesn't seem as deep as Jef. He's also gone a lot and that will be a difficult thing to have to live with, especially when you have little kids involved. I'm looking forward to the finale.